Darkness watches
My every single move
Waiting to steal my breath
As if it has something to prove
Thunderous heartbeats
My blood pressure is on the rise
Honestly, it is how I know
That I am still alive
Do you remember when
You first met fear
How old were you
When he first appeared
Truthfully there’s never been
As odd as it may sound
A time when fear has
Not been around
Lurking in the shadows
Interconnected
A Darkness only visible to me
Like a mirror reflected
Does fear
Ever take a grip
Or take you
On a panic trip
Me, Myself and I
Is frequently said
As for me, personally, it was
Me, Myself and Fear instead
Fear is like
My best friend
Whispering secrets
Walking hand in hand
As a child
Using all of my might
I tried to wash away
Darkness with the Light
But around every corner
Keeping pace
SMACK
Like a punch in my face
I tried to breakaway
I tried to break free
I tried to put distance
I tried everything
A young me
Became resigned as
Fear lived within
The corners of my mind
But as I grew
As I tallied the toll
I began to understand
I was giving away my control
I learned that
In order, to get it back
I put Fear on notice
Then began my attack
As I took back
My power
I would become
Stronger by the hour
Challenging Fear
Face to face
Meant understanding when
It was legitimate
I needed not
Be afraid to breathe
Since not everything
Was out to get me
I know that
It probably sounds absurd
But I knew Fear
Before I spoke my first word
I had never learned
To trust my instincts
The idea was as foreign
As another country
I needed to learn
That I could trust
My internal warnings
Like when my hairs stand up
Instead of believing in myself
I was taught to dismiss
Anything that went against
That everything is great, narrative
I understand
Much more Today
About Fear and when
I should be afraid
Now that I’m grown up
Speaking, technically
Fear has been replaced
With inner peace.
3/16/22
Love this!!!!
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Thanks so much!!!
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You explain yourself really well! And so many stanzas that stand out to me.
I know my only fear should be the Lord. But there’s so many other things… some take a lifetime to overcome.
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Deep. Honest and the truth. I have lived through a lot. And a lot of really ugly things, but was also really stunted by my fear and constant anxiety.
I wasn’t raised in the church, but I sought it out in my late teens and into my 30’s. I decided that I was not a huge fan of Church life, because every preacher seemed to interpret what the Bible says in a way that best benefited them.
So for the past 20 yrs I have sought my knowledge and understanding from other Christians as well through my own studies.
I know that the Lord is the only one that I should be afraid of…
But those old familiar fears still creep to the surface.
Even just briefly, as to remind me of their existence.
A very long way of saying that I hear you!
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I definitely understand!
Church is a part of salvation. I prayed really hard about where the Lord wanted me to go. It took some searching but I found it! Don’t give up. Keep praying and seeking and be patient on the answer.
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