Witness

My heart broke a bit more today
Sitting next to your bed
You were fighting so hard to stay
As each breath was labored

I sat there among your friends
Where I felt truly blessed
Knowing you were near the end
As you struggled for every breath

I held your hand
I kissed your forehead
I told you how I was blessed
Because of you my friend

One by one
Everyone said goodbye
All of a sudden
It was just you and I

I spoke of my memories
We had so much fun
Because that is who you are
To everyone

I told you of all the love
Posted on your page
I spoke of those Harley rides
I treasure every single one

I told you that I would
Forever cherish our friendship
That if I could
Have just one wish

I wish you could stay
So that we could laugh
For many more days
But God had a different plan

I said look at you
Fighting so hard to stay
That you didn’t have to
That it would be okay

That you didn’t have to anymore
But I did not expect
When I said it was alright to let go
That you would take your last breath

But that is what happened
You were ready to say goodbye
I cried as I held your hand
While the nurse closed your eyes

Feeling completely blessed
That I got to say goodbye
So soar with the eagles
Take a Harley for a ride

Ride on your horses
Feel the breeze going by
With Rags on your lap
Who waited for you to arrive

Say hello to Colin
Hug your dear dad
I had the very best friend
In such an amazing man.

Katherine Spitzer. 10/2/2015
#poetry #life #death #grief

I wrote this poem for my wonderful friend on Friday after He flew to Heaven.

Chimes of the Clock

Chimes of the clock
Come slowly in sleepless nights
Eyes are open
With a sense of fright
Shadows creep up the wall
Far from light
Behind a blanket, a cover
A shield of might
Maybe they won’t find me
The monsters of the night
Eyes peeking through
Covers wound tight
Waiting for the sun
With the calm that it invites
To break free from
The demons of the night
To take cover with
A blanket of sunlight.
Katherine Spitzer
8/3/11

#poetry #life #anxiety

SOS

Sending out a message tonight
Right up into the stars
Into the brightest of lights
As far as the planet Mars

I’m not sure that is far enough
But it is a place to start
I have yet to see heaven
Still I will know it by heart

So I am sending out a SOS
To the Heavens tonight
Just to make it known
I am missing you tonight

I missed you Yesterday
Like the days before
Since you left this world
With no warning at all

Hoping for that one day in time
When the pain won’t be so strong
That God will send me a sign
Where your absence won’t feel so wrong

Sometimes it is so hard
To find the right words
Knowing if you were by my side
These lines would not be blurred

If I had a few moments
Of you within my sight Maybe then you would not feel stolen
From the rest of my life

But who am I trying to kid
Moments are never enough
Try as I might to bid
For the return of your love

That would not be fair to you
To pull you back from peace
Even if I were able to
To fulfill a selfish need

Instead I will paint a picture
Like the ones you left behind
As I plan our next adventure
Instead of for answers I will never find

Each day that passes by
Is further from what we once knew
But one step closer in time
To when I will be reunited with you.
Katherine A. Spitzer
10/24/18

#poetry #life #grief #hope

Gratitude

Dear God,
I am so amazed
At the gifts you bestow
The wonder of your grace
For all the world to know
You are so gracious
With your gifts of love
Your skies are so spacious
Hovering above
The sun is so warm
Shining in the sky
The power of the storms
That shows us all your might
God did you know
As the days go by
I know you love me so
As you hold this heart of mine
Sometimes I get lost
In what the day brings
Forgetting that I have sought
Only earthly things
I thank you so
For all you have given me
For what I have yet to know
For all I have yet to see
The visions in my mind
Of what Forever will be
To leave the earth behind
For Your gifts so heavenly Sometimes I forget
The lessons that you teach
I don’t want to regret
Or miss a love within my reach
You touch my heart
Deeply into my soul
Loving me from the start
Teaching me to follow
Thank you for your love
For my friends and family
For my daughter and son
For the gift of eternity
For my husband, my friend
To walk beside me
A love on which I can depend
As true as the sea
Or the Sun above
That you have chosen me
As a child that is enough
Where Heaven is my destiny.
Katherine Spitzer

Chosen

Many many nights
I still lay awake
Beneath enormous weight
As my heart breaks

How can memories
Weigh so much
When will that guilt
Ever be enough

The day we shared
Is almost here
How do I breathe
Without you near

When will I ever
Be able to know
That it is okay
To let you go

Because the thought
So far from me
Of you gone away
For eternity

Brings a lasting ache
That steals my breath complete
Then I wait to see
If my heart continues to beat

Why did you
Not let me know
To hug you again
Would not be so

I still hear the sound
Of your voice say
That you would
Love me for always

You always said
I was the lucky one
Oh how being alone
Must have stung

My brother send
Some strength my way
So I can find the courage
To live beyond today

I don’t know how
It worked out to be
That death chose you
Instead of me.

Katherine Spitzer
5/29/12

Distant Shadows

Distant shadows, I hear you call
If you come closer, will I take the fall?
You are the darkness I hold dear
I know you so without a fear
You sing your songs to me
I listen to your words intently

Distant shadows, can you hear me too?
There is something so familiar about you
You sing to me a desperate serenade
I sometimes think, for you I was made
You will always hold me close to you
If that is what I choose to do

Distant shadows, can you see?
The space I’ve put between me and thee
Darkness makes it hard to see
Lord please light a path for me
As fear sometimes envelopes me
Yet you can feel me breaking free

Distant shadows, I am not sure what to do
Torn between to stay or walk away from you
I feel you try to pull me in
This is the way it always begins
Though I feel you reach for me
I found a better place to be

Distant shadows, I hear you sing
But peace and comfort, you no longer bring
Distant shadows, I hear your lies
So now I bid you this goodbye
There is a place that waits for me
That is better than you will ever be
Distant shadows, I hear you call
But this time I won’t take the fall.
Katherine Spitzer

#poetry #life #recovery #addiction #trauma #ptsd

Still Breathing

I am reposting this poem that I wrote after two mass shootings in Texas in a single weekend. It seems like there is so much madness and hatred… but why? How has violence the immediate reaction to even the smallest slight? How did we get here? I don’t understand and I don’t think that I will ever understand. I hope you enjoy the read. Please stay blessed and kindness has the power to save the world. Thanks so much for being here, ❤️ Kat

I am still here

Still breathing

Consuming air

A human being

My God

Does your heart break

In awe

Of the rampent hate

Despite your words

Of loving grace

Are you disturbed

By the human race

Every time

I turn around

In hatred and violence

Lives are shot down

For everyday

Of this year

In the United States

A mass murder

Instigated by

Hate speech

Rhetoric and lies

From those who lead

How did we

Get to this place

Becoming so ugly

Where everyone’s afraid

Grade school kids

Have butterflies

Looking ahead

As excitements rise

When back to school shoppers

Fall victim on Saturday

To a planned massacre

And wind up in a grave

God do your tears fall

Like mine do here

Where evil crawls

Across the universe

I know it will be

As written in the scripture

Your return eventually

Will change this picture

I am not afraid

Of your return

When the evil that walks

Will forever burn

As long as I

Am still here

Still breathing

Consuming air

I will pray to you

For comfort and peace

For your presence

With those in need

My Almighty Savior

Faithful are thee

With your love so pure

Blessed are those who believe

I will never be perfect

Or ever claim to be

I have stumbled for certain

Still you love me completely

My God, I love you too.

Katherine Spitzer 8/20/2019

#poetry #faith #iamachildofgod #believe #hope #life

A Speck of Sorrow

A drop glistens
In the light
Of the day
Slowly taking form
Is a speck of sorrow
That almost burns
Searing into the skin
On the side
Of her cheek
The pain
Of the misery
Broken over time
By a giant void
Lost love
Pain that bleeds
Stifling breath
A weight of
Insane proportions
A wide open hole
Tears that burn
Searing the skin
Of her cheek
In complete misery.
Katherine Spitzer

#poetry #life #depression #pain

Within My Mind

Day by day
Step by step
We make our way
Trying to forget
The pain of yesterday

Eye to eye
Tear by tear
Seeking why
There’s so much fear
In my mind

Day by day
Turn the Page
Same old story
Age to age
The pains of yesterday

Lie after lie
Spoken in my ear
Over and over in time
Afraid to disappear
Inside my mind

Hiding in wait
Lost in gaze
Attempting to navigate
This twisted maze
The pains of yesterday

Laughter hides
What’s crystal clear
Broken inside
Fading out to disappear
Within my mind.
Katherine Spitzer
#anxiety #depression #life #poetry #ptsd

Diversity

Time moves on without a thought
How cruel is that truth
My heart breaks with loss
My voice becomes mute

No one’s pain is measured
In any proven way
To say who is more treasured
Yours or mine on any given day

My heart beats as does yours
With no more validity
My spirit sinks and soars
Just as intermittently

For every stranger passing by
Pain weaves it’s way intricately
As no one makes it through this life
Without the mark of defeat

One of the beauties of this world
Are the roots of our diversity
I hope that my words are heard
In languages that, I do not speak

For everyone in His sight
Deserves to be regarded preciously
We were made by God’s design
LOVE speaks universally.
Katherine Spitzer

#life #poetry #pain #hope