So ya… 5/5/22

I AM still alive. After 9 days in the hospital I have a new friend

SIEGFRIED (Sig) is a PICC Line. He is on the inside of my right arm and goes up to right above my heart.

My friend – is a little Needy (sshthat’s our secret) and insists on going everywhere with me.

Meet SIEGFRIED

More soon, thanks for being here, it means so much. Stay Blessed, Love Kat

Listen

Double Rainbow April 21, 2022

Do you hear
Me pray to you
With a heart
That loves you true

I am trying to
Open my eyes
To live my life
Not let it pass me by

I want to hear
The birds in the trees
Calling to me
To listen quietly

To the stories
That they tell
The geese with
Their nightly farewell

The shades of
The leaves in the trees
So beautiful
Changing Seasonally

The colors of this world
That you paint
Fading into each other
Off in the distance

The sparkle of
The nightly stars
Guiding our way to say
You are not far

The sun
Burning bright
Lights our day
With keen insight

Showing us beauty
Within every beam
Shining down upon us to highlight
Sights otherwise unseen

The waves crashing
Onto the beach
Sometimes so swiftly that
It knocks us off our feet

All the dollars
On the sand
The riches of each tide
Are scattered all around

The raindrops that fall
Tears from above
As You weeps quietly
With Your undying love

The rainbows so delightful Dancing colors in the sky
Take away the breath
Of those within it’s sight

The mountains towering
Capped in white
A chilling embrace of frozen might

A breeze that carries
The leaves away
Softly blowing in
The beauty of today

Dear God
Thank You so
For showing me Your love
With the wonders You bestow.
Katherine Spitzer

#poetry #gratitude #life #God #love

Pages in Time


Shadows of
The moonlit glow
A space between
What we don’t know
Sunlight streams
With dancing beams
Light a path
Of the dreams in between
Mystic glow
Disperse into the unknown
From gentle streams
Of rhythmic flow
Shooting stars
Light the sky
And the dreams
Of you and I
Pages in time
Yours and mine
Let us entwine
Where our hearts are tied
Age to age
All in all
Loves message
Written on a wall
Of all the days
That recall
All the ways
That love befalls
Swept away
Like a midnight ball
Yet love remains
For eternity
Never lead astray
A forever shade of history.
Katherine Spitzer

#lovemylife #poetry

God’s Precision

Are your eyes
Ever distracted by
The color of the sky
By the sunset or sunrise

Does it ever
Capture your gaze
Hold onto your thoughts
Or take you away

Do you ever
Lie on the ground
Like when you were young
To find shapes in the clouds

Everyday life
Wraps us up so tight
In all the things we have to do
That we miss life’s delight

The waves of the seas
Crash upon the beach
The dance of the ocean
Is blissfully unique

The wind of today
Push the clouds on their journey
Never to be repeated again
In the same exact way

Stop and consider
Every single tiny thing combined
That make up the universe
That is so intricately designed

Far beyond what any human
Could ever envision
The absolute beauty
Of God’s precision

This world was made
With loving hands
So go outside and adventure
Live a life that its beauty demands.
Katherine Spitzer

#life #poetry #blessed #hope

Witness

My heart broke a bit more today
Sitting next to your bed
You were fighting so hard to stay
As each breath was labored

I sat there among your friends
Where I felt truly blessed
Knowing you were near the end
As you struggled for every breath

I held your hand
I kissed your forehead
I told you how I was blessed
Because of you my friend

One by one
Everyone said goodbye
All of a sudden
It was just you and I

I spoke of my memories
We had so much fun
Because that is who you are
To everyone

I told you of all the love
Posted on your page
I spoke of those Harley rides
I treasure every single one

I told you that I would
Forever cherish our friendship
That if I could
Have just one wish

I wish you could stay
So that we could laugh
For many more days
But God had a different plan

I said look at you
Fighting so hard to stay
That you didn’t have to
That it would be okay

That you didn’t have to anymore
But I did not expect
When I said it was alright to let go
That you would take your last breath

But that is what happened
You were ready to say goodbye
I cried as I held your hand
While the nurse closed your eyes

Feeling completely blessed
That I got to say goodbye
So soar with the eagles
Take a Harley for a ride

Ride on your horses
Feel the breeze going by
With Rags on your lap
Who waited for you to arrive

Say hello to Colin
Hug your dear dad
I had the very best friend
In such an amazing man.

Katherine Spitzer. 10/2/2015
#poetry #life #death #grief

I wrote this poem for my wonderful friend on Friday after He flew to Heaven.

SOS

Sending out a message tonight
Right up into the stars
Into the brightest of lights
As far as the planet Mars

I’m not sure that is far enough
But it is a place to start
I have yet to see heaven
Still I will know it by heart

So I am sending out a SOS
To the Heavens tonight
Just to make it known
I am missing you tonight

I missed you Yesterday
Like the days before
Since you left this world
With no warning at all

Hoping for that one day in time
When the pain won’t be so strong
That God will send me a sign
Where your absence won’t feel so wrong

Sometimes it is so hard
To find the right words
Knowing if you were by my side
These lines would not be blurred

If I had a few moments
Of you within my sight Maybe then you would not feel stolen
From the rest of my life

But who am I trying to kid
Moments are never enough
Try as I might to bid
For the return of your love

That would not be fair to you
To pull you back from peace
Even if I were able to
To fulfill a selfish need

Instead I will paint a picture
Like the ones you left behind
As I plan our next adventure
Instead of for answers I will never find

Each day that passes by
Is further from what we once knew
But one step closer in time
To when I will be reunited with you.
Katherine A. Spitzer
10/24/18

#poetry #life #grief #hope

Gratitude

Dear God,
I am so amazed
At the gifts you bestow
The wonder of your grace
For all the world to know
You are so gracious
With your gifts of love
Your skies are so spacious
Hovering above
The sun is so warm
Shining in the sky
The power of the storms
That shows us all your might
God did you know
As the days go by
I know you love me so
As you hold this heart of mine
Sometimes I get lost
In what the day brings
Forgetting that I have sought
Only earthly things
I thank you so
For all you have given me
For what I have yet to know
For all I have yet to see
The visions in my mind
Of what Forever will be
To leave the earth behind
For Your gifts so heavenly Sometimes I forget
The lessons that you teach
I don’t want to regret
Or miss a love within my reach
You touch my heart
Deeply into my soul
Loving me from the start
Teaching me to follow
Thank you for your love
For my friends and family
For my daughter and son
For the gift of eternity
For my husband, my friend
To walk beside me
A love on which I can depend
As true as the sea
Or the Sun above
That you have chosen me
As a child that is enough
Where Heaven is my destiny.
Katherine Spitzer

Chosen

Many many nights
I still lay awake
Beneath enormous weight
As my heart breaks

How can memories
Weigh so much
When will that guilt
Ever be enough

The day we shared
Is almost here
How do I breathe
Without you near

When will I ever
Be able to know
That it is okay
To let you go

Because the thought
So far from me
Of you gone away
For eternity

Brings a lasting ache
That steals my breath complete
Then I wait to see
If my heart continues to beat

Why did you
Not let me know
To hug you again
Would not be so

I still hear the sound
Of your voice say
That you would
Love me for always

You always said
I was the lucky one
Oh how being alone
Must have stung

My brother send
Some strength my way
So I can find the courage
To live beyond today

I don’t know how
It worked out to be
That death chose you
Instead of me.

Katherine Spitzer
5/29/12

Still Breathing

I am reposting this poem that I wrote after two mass shootings in Texas in a single weekend. It seems like there is so much madness and hatred… but why? How has violence the immediate reaction to even the smallest slight? How did we get here? I don’t understand and I don’t think that I will ever understand. I hope you enjoy the read. Please stay blessed and kindness has the power to save the world. Thanks so much for being here, ❤️ Kat

I am still here

Still breathing

Consuming air

A human being

My God

Does your heart break

In awe

Of the rampent hate

Despite your words

Of loving grace

Are you disturbed

By the human race

Every time

I turn around

In hatred and violence

Lives are shot down

For everyday

Of this year

In the United States

A mass murder

Instigated by

Hate speech

Rhetoric and lies

From those who lead

How did we

Get to this place

Becoming so ugly

Where everyone’s afraid

Grade school kids

Have butterflies

Looking ahead

As excitements rise

When back to school shoppers

Fall victim on Saturday

To a planned massacre

And wind up in a grave

God do your tears fall

Like mine do here

Where evil crawls

Across the universe

I know it will be

As written in the scripture

Your return eventually

Will change this picture

I am not afraid

Of your return

When the evil that walks

Will forever burn

As long as I

Am still here

Still breathing

Consuming air

I will pray to you

For comfort and peace

For your presence

With those in need

My Almighty Savior

Faithful are thee

With your love so pure

Blessed are those who believe

I will never be perfect

Or ever claim to be

I have stumbled for certain

Still you love me completely

My God, I love you too.

Katherine Spitzer 8/20/2019

#poetry #faith #iamachildofgod #believe #hope #life

The Last Time

Oddly strange how little was said
The last time that ours eyes met
When my heart broke all apart
Because I could not reach yours
The overwhelming feeling of defeat
Fading into the darkness of my retreat
The grey that covered your steel- blue eyes
When I stared into them for the very last time
All of your spirit had long since slipped away
I watched as you turned your back on me
Oh how badly I wanted to be wrong
But you were, already gone
Tears fell as I drove away
But I could form no words to say
I watched the sun tumble out of the sky
But I could not say goodbye
All these years underneath the weight
From the guilt of being just a little too late
I was too young to be that strong
Too young for you to rely on
You were the Hero of this child’s life
Until you were consumed by strife
There was nothing I could do
But I so desparately wanted to save you
I know today that is not my place
Because Peace is given with God’s grace
I know that your demons have set you free
So in death you may rest peacefully
I am loving you with every inch of my heart
The way I will until I have departed
Hopefully, in Heaven you will look my way
As finally there will be nothing left to say
Yet now missing you for my days that remain.
Katherine Spitzer

#suicide #depression #broken #grief

This poem is about the last time I looked my big brother in the eyes. I was 16 and I knew he was going to die. This was Sunday afternoon, and they found him on Friday. The coroner said it had likely been gone for 3 days, but he put 2 on the certificate.

My parents used me as their pawn to try to get him to open his door so they could pounce on him.

So little was known about mental illness. 34 years later the way the world treats people with about as much compassion as they did then. Which I think is complete Bullshit. The facilities themselves are the oldest hospital wings on the planet. WHY??? Is it because we are “too sick or delusional to know the difference”.
I was not much beyond 13yo when the police came to “deal with” my brother. My mom had taken offense to something, called 911 and reported that he was acting erratically. I believe that my mom had wanted to teach him a lesson, because I remember her saying something to the effect of “well I’ll show you”.
I don’t know why, At this point, he barely put 5 words together at one time. In fact, he barely spoke 5 words in a day. He was so drugged up with anti-psychotics.
The cops literally chased him around the living and dining room, until they caught him, then sat on him, until he was hogtied. The whole time he was screaming, and crying (& so was I) and then 2 officers carried him out of the house.

I have never talked about those terrifying minutes, detailing the emotions, but it deeply scarred me, like much of the final 4 years and 10 months of his life…. and the aftermath, I am still working on

Be kind, stay blessed, and thank you for being here, ❤️ Kat