Chosen

Many many nights
I still lay awake
Beneath enormous weight
As my heart breaks

How can memories
Weigh so much
When will that guilt
Ever be enough

The day we shared
Is almost here
How do I breathe
Without you near

When will I ever
Be able to know
That it is okay
To let you go

Because the thought
So far from me
Of you gone away
For eternity

Brings a lasting ache
That steals my breath complete
Then I wait to see
If my heart continues to beat

Why did you
Not let me know
To hug you again
Would not be so

I still hear the sound
Of your voice say
That you would
Love me for always

You always said
I was the lucky one
Oh how being alone
Must have stung

My brother send
Some strength my way
So I can find the courage
To live beyond today

I don’t know how
It worked out to be
That death chose you
Instead of me.

Katherine Spitzer
5/29/12

11 thoughts on “Chosen

      1. I am ok. I have some medical issues going on that are concerning my medical team. Emotionally I have been overwhelmed with the taking care of my dad and tomorrow is my mom’s birthday. It is her first birthday in Heaven.
        My sister knew of the medical concerns that my doctor had, agreed that I wasn’t in any shape to care for my dad…
        AND then took off on a month long road trip with her husband. As far as I know… it was not urgent. Now she is 5 states away and my medical team wants me to be admitted to the hospital.
        Legally my dad is my sister’s responsibility because she is his power of attorney…
        But I don’t want my sister to put my dad into a nursing home so I am trying to help. It is a little difficult for me to comprehend how knowing what she did about where I am at.
        My sister is just being the same person that she has always been. 🙄

        Liked by 1 person

    1. It seems unbelievable but I was admitted into the Critical Care Unit in septic shock, the same day that my brother was at home dying. I had medical insurance. He did not. So even though he was incredibly sick, he went to bed instead of the hospital.
      He died. I lived.
      That is why I called it Chosen. 😔

      Liked by 1 person

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